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I have doubts about my relationship. Is it normal?

Doubt is a defensive mechanism. Its purpose is to warn and protect us from mistakes and danger. A good balance between confidence and doubt ensures we can operate in this world freely and happily.

However, some people find it much more common to be unsure about things that for others can be more straightforward. For example, we can get preoccupied or obsessed about our partner, spouse or loved ones. This obsessive behaviour and thinking can prevent us from seeing clearly and making the right choices. Instead of protecting us, it can damage our relationships and our well being.

Worrying, having doubts or even being preoccupied with a particular relationship does not automatically suggest a diagnosis of a relationship obsession.

Like other OCD symptoms, relationship-related OC symptoms require psychological intervention only when causing significant distress and are incapacitating. Assessing ROCD symptoms, however, is further complicated by the fact that such experiences, even if distressing, may still be a part of the normal course of a still developing relationship, mainly during the flirting and dating stages of a relationship, or reflect real life problems.

Our app, GGRO: Relationship Doubt, is focused on helping people improve their condition whether they have normal doubts or if they suffer from Relationship OCD. We believe training for 3-5 minutes a day can benefit users by reducing symptoms and challenging beliefs that hinder our judgement.

 

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The story behind GG RO: Relationship doubt and obsession

When searching for the keyword “relationship” on Google, Facebook etc, we usually find websites and Facebook pages that celebrate the beauty in relationships. One of the more popular terms, for example, is “Relationship Goals” – which is a great idea, assuming that following role models can be an inspiration to our lives.

We want to love and be loved, and seeing that other couples are having a great relationship makes us feel bad about ourselves – as often we fail to live to these standards.

The reality is that relationships are not always great. And that maintaining them means a lot of hard work, mentally and psychologically.

What we aim to do in GG RO app – is to help people who suffer from relationship related fears, uncertainty, stress and doubt.

By using the app, people are, first of all, exposed to statements (thoughts) that are drawn from real life. By reading out thoughts such as “My boyfriend embarrasses me”, we understand that we’re not alone, and that there are other people who share the same thoughts.

Identifying negative and positive thoughts is the next step – this can be tricky: sometimes we think that some thoughts are positive, but they can actually have a negative impact on our self esteem and being. For example, “Thoughts have magic powers” – this is a statement that it is possible that a wise person could have taught us. However, in the context of dealing with doubt and relationship obsession, putting too much weight and meaning into thoughts can be harmful. In reality, and this is backed up by research in the psychology field, thoughts can be meaningless, and often, especially when thoughts are negative or non-constructive – they should not be taken too seriously.

Training ourselves to identify negative and positive thoughts is not for pure fun though – we can then deal with similar thoughts better when we actually face them in real life.

GG apps are built in a way that lets you discover various ‘topics’ – categories of thoughts that have a common ground, and then train daily on identifying and responding to them.

The road to healthier understanding of relationships, and ultimately, better relationships, is not a quick one – but we believe that it can be done and using our app we might even have a bit of fun along the way.